Hi Jude. thanks for having this platform. I'd like to get some advice from you. I was in a long distance relationship with someone for almost 4 years. And due to some personal family concerns, we did not take the relationship to the next level and I broke up with him (even when he was not okay with that decision). 6 months of on and off conversations and then finally, he just said he wanted some space and time off of these things and has not reverted or replied back to my message since. I am not on his socials as well anymore.
Should I just respect the fact that he needs time off.. and not connect with him ever because I might not receive any response? I just felt he could've just verbalised what he wanted straight out instead of vanishing in thin air. Almost felt like ghosting. Please advise.
Hey love,
Thank you so much for reaching out to Asking Jude. I am sorry to hear you are going through this tricky situation. Being “ghosted” by someone can often feel like an act of betrayal and any emotions you are feeling right now are 100% valid. Here is an article that talks a little bit about ghosting: https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-cope-with-being-ghosted-5101153
I think it is important to respect his boundaries and give him the time he may need. This situation is really difficult and although it may sound cliche, try to empathize with him and give him some time to sort out what he is feeling. This may be understandably very difficult, so I want to give you some ideas of how you can focus your attention elsewhere for the time being. I would recommend prioritizing self-care. Go on walks; spend time in nature; read a good book– make sure you are setting aside time for things that make you happy! Ghosting can often be hard to cope with because the person that “ghosted” you is constantly on your mind, so turning this attention elsewhere can really help you give him the space he may need.
You may also find this next idea helpful: I would recommend writing out everything you want to say to him in the format of a letter. Even if he never sees this letter, writing down all of your thoughts and emotions can really help you understand what you’re feeling and potentially help you better understand how you want to approach the situation.
Additionally, although you were the one that broke up with him, breakups are still very emotionally taxing and often disheartening situations. Here is an article that describes how writing, journaling, and other ideas can provide you any relief (if you need) https://www.heysigmund.com/recovering-from-a-breakup/
Again, thank you for reaching out, and I hope you find this information helpful. Hang in there, and please, don’t hesitate to reach out again whenever you may need! You got this!
Love,
Jordan Sadan <3