I've come to the realization that I'm not very important to anybody. and it's odd because I'm not particularly hurt by it anymore. I have some long-time close friends, but I go so easily unnoticed lately. I will listen to what everyone around me has to say but it doesn't seem that my efforts are reciprocated by my closest friends. I used to be able to have an even conversation with them where we can both get our pieces in, and I used to be very outspoken about what I'm passionate about, but It's definitely pulled back as these past couple years have gone on.
When my friends talk about their interests and what they're passionate about, I always try to respond in a way that lets me connect with them and engage with their interests. But when I try to talk about what I love or am interested in, I'm met with basic responses or just being looked over. I find it difficult because it feels as if they just don't care about what I have to say. When I think about it, it feels like I could just be acting selfish, because I know I don't deserve their attention, but I've always engaged with what they care about.
Thinking this way has led me to become more closed off emotionally, and I feel like I shouldn't even bother with talking about what I care about. It's easier to discuss it with people I don't know rather than bring it up with my actual friends haha
It's something that I've almost come to accept, but I just can't beat the feeling I'm not being treated fairly. Let me know if you think I'm being selfish. This was mostly to just let the feelings off my chest but please do say your piece if you can, and thank you :)